Selective truths

OK so you spot a nice looking guy online who’s got a great smile. This could be promising right? His profile’s well written with fully joined up sentences, his spelling’s pretty good and he hasn’t cited Mission Impossible as his favourite movie. He may even crack a joke or two, name drop a literary classic as his bedside reading or allude to a romantic hero in a popular chick flick just to show you that he’s in touch with his feminine side. Ah bless, things are looking up right? No. Stop right there. He’s too good to be true, there’s no such thing as a free lunch in the dating world.

Go back, check his profile blind spots and study them carefully. These are the three areas where men are most likely to stretch the truth to massage their egos. The first one is their profile picture, look again. Is it a bit blurry or fuzzy? Does it remind you of an Instagram photo effect? Is it in black and white? Is there a corner of a head leaning on their shoulder that’s been brutally cropped out of the shot? Yes. That’s the ex right there living on in their profile shot… great photo choice boys! This snap is from back in his Halcyon days, when he was loved up and had more hair and less wrinkles. They think surely this picture from happier times will work its magic for their profile image? But the reality is the snap is as dated as their memories and nothing quite prepares you for the shock of that first date when you realise that Mr.Vintage standing at the bar is the mature version of your date, anything from 4-10 years older than that golden moment and whatsmore the years haven’t necessarily been kind.

Next we come to their height. If he says he’s 6 foot chances are he probably is. Most tall guys don’t beat around the bush with their height – its a given. But if he says he 5’10 or 5’11 then look out, because he’s probably in acute denial and more in the region of 5’6 or 5’7 and will with surprise mention that you are ‘quite tall in your heels’ before going on to say that high heels are known to give women bad backs! If only these guys could stretch themselves as easily as they stretch the truth.

And then we come to the final corker, their age. Now forgive me for saying but it’s normally us ladies who have a hard time with the age thing. It’s just a number right? It’s what’s inside that counts? Well it’s all true and so I’ve never lied about my age. So why is it that guys are getting creative with the digits? If they say they’re in their late 30s you can bet your bottom dollar they’re actually in their early to mid 40s and when they deliver this revealing little morsel they’ll quickly follow it up with “so how old are you then?”. I’m sorry, pardon? I think my profile quite clearly stated I’m 39…and proud of it! Why would I lie? Like you have…

In their minds they’re not lying, they are simply embellishing, sadly it’s enough to put you off. If they’re telling porkies now what will it be like later?