I feel really good today. To sum it up there’s a Florence and The Machine song called ‘Heartlines’ and it goes like this:
“But in order to get to the heart, I think sometimes you have to cut through.
Just keep following the heartlines on your hand, keep it up I know you can, just keep following the heartlines on your hand, cause I am.”
This song speaks to my roots, dripping in Celtic harps and drums, driven by Flo’s amazing voice and the vivid lyrics which conjure my homeland: rivers, tumbling stone and overgrown castles.
Its beautiful imagery makes me homesick or as we say in Welsh it gives me ‘hiraeth’ meaning a longing for the ‘Motherland’. But it also speaks to me on another level, it whispers to my inner druid. Call it mumbo jumbo if you will but I truly believe in spirituality and serendipity and I’ve finally decided to obey my heartline too.
It means conceding happily for once to leave my future to destiny. I already closed down my online profile two weeks ago and this weekend I said a sad goodbye to the lovely, gentleman scaffolder I met speed dating. He was one of The Good Ones, I knew it when we met but a month in and my spark was still damp.
I’m clearing the decks. To explain, I went to a new tarot reader recently and spookily picked the same cards as 6 months ago, the same reading, chapter and verse. I drew the Star, the Two of Cups, the Sun and the ‘wish’ card – the Nine of Cups.
I’m told I will learn to love myself first and then meet my version of the famous tall, dark, stranger abroad and only when the time is right. No matter what I do, it’s in the stars. The only travelling I have planned is homeward bound to ancient, misty Wales at Christmas. It’s a long way away and who knows what the future holds or if the cards are playing fair?
But in the meantime I’m going to enjoy hanging out with my girlfriends, being single, being selfish and following my own heartline to wherever it takes me. Because surely I’ve tried enough to no avail? Now I’m just going to relax, no more dates for tired, disappointed me.
As Florence says maybe the dog days are indeed over?