Santa Baby

I’m back home in misty Wales licking my wounds after my dancing man dumped me on the floor by text, not once, but twice. Dropped me without warning to sweep off and no doubt pirouette another girl round the floor. Turns out he’s very good at the commitment side-step and the responsibility shake. I bought him a Christmas present to celebrate our fledgling romance, it was the kiss of death.

Strangely, I’m not bothered. He was fun while it lasted but not a show stopper. He showed me what it’s like to be treated nicely for precisely a month so “Gee thanks buddy”, but comme ci, comme ca. Men are still a mystery but I am much stronger these days. So I’ve hopped on a plane to come and chill with my loved ones and forget the romantic wounds and scars of the last few years.

I do however have one wish from Santa on this special Christmas Eve. I promise I’ve been a very, very good girl all year and I know it’s a big request (I understand if you can’t magic one up straight away) but I really do think I deserve one in 2014, after all I’ve waited patiently for forty years. Santa I really, really want a husband please.

I would like a husband who’s funny, kind and handsome, witty and talented, with a moral compass, drive and goals in life. Someone who loves eating, music, art and traveling. Who welcomes kids and animals and enjoys lively discussions sharing food with friends and family. Someone who fits like a hand in a glove. Someone who happens to think I am the best thing since sliced bread.

See I’m done with dating duds Santa. Let’s be clear now I don’t want a fling, a boyfriend or a partner… I want a real live hubby, to cuddle up in bed at night with reading books and eating biscuits, to sit in the dark with at the movies stuffing our faces with popcorn, a hubby who will endure Sunday lunches with the in-laws all secret nods and eye rolling, a hubby to be red eyed and bleary with rocking our baby at 3am and ultimately a hubby to stand nervously at the aisle with holding clammy nervous hands together.

It’s a tricky one I know, but I think you’re the man for the job and I’ve heard you always try and deliver. Santa if you pop a good husband under my tree tonight I promise that when I unwrap him I will love and adore him unconditionally and not take him back for an exchange. I’m told you don’t get if you don’t ask… so I’m asking, please Santa hurry down the chimney tonight.

Merry Christmas everyone, love Miss Kitty xxx