I once said to someone special that for me and my future happiness ‘love was the thing’, it was a brave but stupid thing to say because it was a hint. A big massive neon, glow-in-the-dark or slap me round the face hint and when I said it I couldn’t look him in the eye because it was directly addressed to him. It was supposed to be a key to unlock the future, but he didn’t quite get it and I lost him to another path.
But this weekend I am remembering that love actually bloody well is the thing, not just for me, for everyone! It is THE key, the master key to everything not just the guy, the girl, but yourself and everything in your life. Strangely I’m finding love all around on my solo road trip. Bring on the cheese! But ’tis true!
Everything I’m doing and seeing is with love, be it love for a new day, love for the washed up debris of a storm, love for a delicious mussel and lamb dinner with the best soundtrack in the background, love for a perfect wake-up coffee, a good read, my own pleasant company, a soft seductive Pinot noir (at lunchtime no less!) or a crisp Sauvignon blanc, a brisk salt-air walk, an amble through old streets and charms, a chat with the old lady who’s attending a Jehovah’s Witness wedding or sharing stories with another lone traveller along the way.
I’m completely on my own on this trip, barring my loyal, lovable canine companions and yet strangely I don’t feel alone at all. I am quite happily dining in the best restaurants all by myself with nothing for company but my thoughts, best perfume, underwear and a good book. And yes I am making an effort… for myself! And I’m not self conscious at all, in fact I’m celebrating and loving it! I do get some odd looks but I don’t care – I really can do what I want.
I feel loved by a caring Universe. I feel happy to be me and have all my best choices ahead of me. Left, right, single, coupled, stop, go, baby, no baby. I am free to do what I please and achieve what I want and I guess after all that is something special at this age. Well it’s the first time I’ve seen it that way. So I’ll try and have no more panic attacks at being left behind, no more doldrums, no more self pity, no more poor me. Instead I’m going to say love is the thing and enjoy the journey and if you’re lucky enough I might just share some of mine with you!